A Christian or other mainstream wedding and reception (including a Jewish wedding) in the United States follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. The Wilfandel house can make accommodations for all types of weddings. Customs and traditions vary but components include the following:
The bride wears “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.”
The bride usually wears a white dress.
A color scheme is often used so that the invitation matches the bridesmaids' dresses and the table settings.
Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony.
The bride's family sends engraved invitations to the wedding guests, addressed by hand (or in an elegant font) to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion. Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day.
A wedding ceremony takes place at a church or other location, such as an outdoor venue or the Wilfandel house.
At the wedding reception following the ceremony, sometimes at the same location as the wedding but sometimes at a different venue:
The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
Usually snacks or a meal are served while the guests and bridal party mingle.
The Wilfandel house has a full kitchen available if you choose us as your wedding location.
Often the best man and/or maid of honor toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne, sparkling cider, or nonalcoholic carbonated drinks are usually provided for this purpose.
Clinking silverware against glassware obliges the newlyweds to kiss.
If dancing is provided, the bride and groom first dance together. Often further protocol is followed, where they dance first with their respective mother and father, then possibly with the maid of honor and best man; then the bride and groom rejoin while the parents of the bride and groom join the dance and the best man and maid of honor dance together; then other attendants join in; then finally everyone is entitled to dance. Dancing continues throughout the reception. Music is sometimes provided by a live band or musical ensemble, sometimes by a disc jockey.
In some cultures, the dollar dance takes place, in which it is expected and encouraged for guests to pin money onto the young bride and groom to help them get started in their new lives.
The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter--often a special silver keepsake cutter purchased or given as a gift for the occasion--and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake. They then entwine arms and feed each other a bite of cake. In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other's faces at this time.
The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose.
Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
Wedding gifts
The purpose of inviting guests was to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in the bride and groom's joy and celebration. Gifts for the bride and groom are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token gift of their best wishes. Some brides and grooms and families feel, contrary to proper etiquette, that for the expense and effort they put into showing their guests a good time and to wine and dine them, the guests should reciprocate by providing nice gifts or cash.
The couple often registers for gifts at a store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of household items, usually including china, silverware and crystalware; often including linen preferences, pots and pans, and similar items. With brides and grooms who might already be independent and have lived on their own, even owning their own homes, they sometimes register at hardware or home improvement stores. Registries are intended to make it easy for guests who wish to purchase gifts to feel comfortable that they are purchasing gifts that the newlyweds will truly appreciate. The registry information should, according to etiquette, be provided only to guests who request it. Some couples register with services that enable money gifts intended to fund items such as a honeymoon, home purchase or college fund.
Some guests may find bridal registries inappropriate. They can be seen as an anathema to traditional notions behind gift buying, such as contravening the belief that "one should be happy for what they receive", taking away the element of surprise, and leading to present buying as a type of competition, as the couple knows the costs of each individual item. It may also be seen by some as inappropriate to invite people who do not know either the bride or groom well enough to be able to pick out an appropriate gift.
African-American customs
Jumping the broom developed out West African Asante custom. The broom in Asante and other Akan cultures also held spiritual value and symbolized sweeping away past wrongs or warding off evil spirits. Brooms were waved over the heads of marrying couples to ward off spirits. The couple would often but not always jump over the broom at the end of the ceremony.
The custom took on additional significance in the context of slavery in the United States. Slaves had no right to legal marriage; slaveholders considered slaves property and feared that legal marriage and family bonds had the potential to lead to organization and revolt. Marriage rituals, however, were important events to the Africans, who came in many cases come from richly-ceremonial African cultures. The members of the Wilfandel club are deeply engrained with this culture.
Taking marriage vows in the presence of a witness and then leaping over the handle of a broom became the common practice to create a recognized union. Brooms are also symbols of the hearth, the center of the new family being created. Jumping the broom has become a practice in many modern weddings between Black Americans.
There are also traditions of broom jumping in Europe, in the Wicca and Celtic communities especially. They are probably unconnected with the African practice.
The Wilfandel house can accomodate all of your wedding location needs.
Marriage is a complicated relationship.I’ve only been married 5 months and I’ve already managed to figure that out…That’s why much to my surprise, my Father announcing his engagement to his girlfriend of only a few months on Christmas morning came as such a shock to me.For most people getting engaged is a time of celebration, but in this case it was more confusion.My parents split over 10 years ago and my father had never showed any signs of wanting to remarry.He hadn’t even held a girlfriend longer than a couple of months!That’s what makes me a little skeptical of the idea, but I’m happy that he’s happy, and am going to support them the whole way through.
The one thing that makes me most concerned is that they live 3,000 miles apart! Each of them have successful businesses in their home states, and have multiple teenagers, not to mention ex-spouses who are still very much involved in their lives.
Being apart physically makes a marriage even more challenging, that’s why I’ve come up with some tips for them and anyone else who is facing a long distance marriage.
COMMUNICATION is key!In all relationships communication is #1 to keeping it alive.Talk everyday!
TRUST: Long distance marriages will fail if there is lack of trust between partners.
MAKE TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER! Do this by sending an email, a letter, a phone call, writing in a journal, or instant messaging.
EXPECTATIONS: Share your feelings about being apart from one another, and your expectations for when you are together again.
BE HONEST: Don’t hold back your fears or concerns about your separation.Talk it out.
KEEP IT FRESH: Since you’re apart most of the time it shouldn’t be hard to keep your relationship fun and fresh.Try new places, see new attractions, cuddle, have FUN together!
I’m by far not an expert on relationships, but I’m hoping for my Father, and others that this information is useful.All you need is Communication, Trust, Patience, and a good sense of humor and everything should work out just fine!
I’d be concerned if they were all from the same wedding. If they are, it shows a lack of experience. Experienced professional photographers have shot many different brides and that should show in their work. At the other extreme, I would be concerned if they only show one photograph from each wedding. That makes me think the photographer only gets one good picture from the whole day. You should be looking for some consistency over a range of photographs from many different weddings with at least three or four different pictures from each wedding in their sample online gallery or album.
Do You Actually Like This Person?
If you select him you will be spending the most important day of your life with him or her so be sure you are comfortable and like being around them. If the photographer’s personality clashes with yours, you could be in for an unhappy day - or at least an awkward one. Do not risk being unhappy on the most important day of your life. Reading the photographer’s personality is just as important as looking through their portfolio. When you talk with a prospective photographer, get a feel for them and see if they were someone you’d want to hang out with. Does he listen to you? A photographer that talks all the time about how great they are someone you should stay away from. How can the photographer know what you are looking for if they do not take the time to listen to you?
How to Be Sure You Are Dealing With a Professional Photographer
Ask them if they do photography as a full time career? If yes that is a good sign. If they say no, they aren’t a professional photographer, and will have nothing to lose if they mess up your wedding photographs.
How long have they been in business? Anything under a year is suspect, mainly because they will probably not have enough experience. Two to three years is not bad since they photographer has probably had enough wedding experience to know what to expect and how to deal with most situations that may arise. Anything over three years is best since it is proof they are doing pretty well and probably having a decent reputation.
Ask Them How Many Weddings They have Photographed?
If they give you a figure under twenty then be on your guard and take all of the other answers into account when finally deciding on whether to book them or not, especially take into account how many years they have been in business. If they have only done twenty weddings in two years you shouldn’t book them. Twenty is a very low number of weddings for two years; you can expect an expert photographer on average to photograph a minimum of twenty weddings per year. If they give you a figure over 200 and they’ve been in business for only a couple of years then they are less than honest. It would be impossible for them to have covered so many weddings in two years. For a business that has been operating for two to three years, a reasonable figure for weddings covered is around fifth to sixty.
If the Price Offered Sounds Too Good To Be True – It Probably Is!
You may be lucky and find a talented photographer for under $1500 for whole day coverage. Like most things in life you get what you pay for. You will most likely end up with nothing like you asked for, poor quality, badly composed photographs at best.
If you can increase your budget from the bottom range and to the next level say, $2000 to $3000, you will expand your choices greatly and you will end up with beautiful photographs that last a lifetime. If you move to the next level say, $4,000 - $6,000, your choices expand exponentially, because you’re not limited to local photographers, you can get photographers from across the nation. The price is obviously important to you, as you have probably already spent thousands on the wedding itself, but there is no point trying to save money on photography. Everything else gets eaten, forgotten or put into storage, and the photography and the ring are the only things you will have from your day to show everyone. Try your best to stretch that budget and book a professional photographer for as long as you can get them, you won’t regret it.
Writing your own vows adds a unique touch to your wedding ceremony. However, vow writing isn’t a simple process. So instead of starting at a blank sheet of paper for hours on end, check out our sample vows and vow writing tips below. Vows typically have a defined beginning, middle and end.
First (start slow and establish the tempo): State your name, her name and your intentions for marriage.
Example — I, Romeo, stand here ready to take you, Juliet, to be my wife, best friend and lifelong partner in marriage.
Next (the meat and potatoes): State why you intend to marry and what marriage means to you. This would be the time to use any poetic skills you may have. It might also be an appropriate time to include a story that illustrates your love for the bride.
Example — As husband and wife, I know we’ll be able to accomplish anything and overcome any challenges that stand in our way. From the moment I met you in college, I knew you were the one I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. As we began to date and get to know each other even better, these thoughts were confirmed. I have never doubted my love for you; in fact, it has grown stronger every day.
Finally (finish strong): Pledge yourself to your bride. This is where you’ll want to make the promises that will last a lifetime. This is the portion of the vows that you’d probably recognize by the words “in sickness and in health.”
Example — From this moment on, with you at my side, I promise to always live by the vows I make today. I promise to give you the best future I can and to be the best father I can when we welcome children into the world. I will love you whether we’re rich or poor, healthy or sick, young or old. I pledge to hold these promises dear to my heart for the rest of my life.
The Bottom Line: Remember, size doesn’t matter. Your vows don’t have to be long. It’s what you say that counts.
With these economic times couples are tightening up their wedding budgets and downsizing their celebrations…
You can still have an amazing wedding on a tight budget as long as you know how to prioritize what’s most important to you and allocate your budget based on that.
One way couples think that they can save money is by forgoing a DJ and using an I-Pod for their wedding music. If the object or goal of your wedding is to get your guests to leave early and not dance than an I-Pod will do the trick. Music and interaction is KEY to any successful event. Without a DJ and a good MC your event will quickly fizzle out. Creating an ambiance with good entertainment will set the mood for the entire celebration.
From my experience, I can tell you that no one will care if you have the best decor, flowers, linens, chair covers, or a full bar. They will notice though if there is no energy, interaction, or good entertainment, which will cause them to eat and run. So, when you’re analyzing your budget, think about what’s most important to you, and spend your money where you’re going to get the most bang for your buck, but try not to use an I-pod in place of a DJ if you can help it.
They’ve been with you every step of the way — through good times and bad. And now they’re ready to stand beside you on the day you say “I do.” As your groomsmen, they’ll be renting tuxes, planning your bachelor party, making toasts and helping out on the big day. How to repay them? Here are a few ways to say “thanks.”
Engraving something with the groomsmen’s initials is a nice way to personalize your groomsmen gift. Try engraving or monogramming one of these gift options:
. Pocket knife or pocket multi-tool . Flasks or beer steins . Shot glass set . Corkscrews/bottle openers . Wristwatches . Cuff links . Money clip . Lighters . Pens . Business card holders . Wallets
Avid sports fans will appreciate a gift that relates to their love of the game or the great outdoors, such as:
. Golf equipment . Fishing gear . Camping equipment . Game tickets . Gifts featuring logos of their favorite sports team. Browse our MLB groomsman gifts, NFL groomsman gifts, NHL groomsman gifts, and NCAA groomsman gifts . Personalized Baseball Bat
Another option is to organize a group outing for you and the boys (on you of course). Popular ideas are:
. Casino night (or a Vegas trip if it's in the budget) . Camping or fishing excursion . Sporting event . Concert . Golfing
Finally, if your groomsmen support any major causes - a donation in their name is a very unique and meaningful gift.
The Bottom Line: No matter what type of groomsman gift you choose, the name of the game is to find a gift that will make your groomsmen feel appreciated (and help ease the pain of a pricey tux rental). Think of your gift as a memento of your wedding that your groomsmen will remember for years to come. Cheers!
At a number of weddings this past year I had several people came up to me during the receptions and mention that they had been watching me work over the course of the day. I was flattered and had not noticed. They had been married recently but complained that their wedding photographers did not take both as many pictures and the variety of interesting photos I was making. When I asked them who had photographed their wedding, they responded a family member or friend of the family was the photographer, but they wished that they had hired me. In times like these, people are often tempted to save time money on an expensive wedding by accepting the services of a family member or friend when they come to the wedding photography. This often results in a case of unintended consequences as the friend or family member delivers less than acceptable results due to the lack of prior experience, and both of you feel regrets that it turned out to be a disaster. Despite the cost, there are a number of benefits to hiring a professional wedding photographer. The combination of years of experience, artistic approach, and choice of equipment insure that the professional wedding photographer’s work will stand the test of time.
A professional photographer’s cameras and lenses make a big difference on the fundamental level coupled with extensive experience with the equipment they use. Their equipment will be professional quality gear that is able to withstand extremes of temperature or humidity, they will have access to a wider variety of lenses, lights, and accessories than an amateur would, and they will have backup equipment in case of failure or damage. They are routinely more comfortable working with their equipment. This translates into a stronger stylistic expression on the part of the experienced professional. The experienced photographer is then not limited by his equipment and is able to pick from a variety of lenses to obtain a specific look or feel to the photographs. More than just getting some good pictures, the best way to remember the day is to have it told in a picture story. The narrative or photo-journalistic approach to wedding photography is a lot more than just a bunch of pictures and requires someone who has learned the skills of telling a story with a camera. If you are not familiar with the style, check out the work of a wedding photojournalist.
Perhaps the most important reason to hire an experienced professional photographer is their experience in dealing with all the possibilities of a wedding day. Even though a non-professional who photographs weddings may be quite a capable photographer, the experienced professional wedding photographer has the ability to deliver work of a higher standard in a wide variety of situations. Despite the many months brides and grooms spend planning the day, a wedding will always be an uncontrolled and spontaneous event. An experienced photographer can improvise and adapt when the timeline changes on the spur of the moment as quite frequently happens. Professional photographers know the flow and timing of a wedding day, which gives them the edge to capture images that highlight the most important moments throughout the day—the emotions, laughter, and spontaneity.
Weddings are also the time when family members reunite from distant places. Formal and candid portraits become a timeless keepsake of friendships and relationships. An experienced wedding photographer will be able to create these important family photographs, even under the pressure of a tight schedule when things run slower than expected. Experienced wedding photographers, who once worked as photojournalists, thrive in such anxiety producing conditions. After covering breaking news for a number of years, a wedding, no matter how hectic, is never quite as stressful as having to photograph a war or protest demonstration. The very nature of the work tends to lead professional wedding photographers to love working with people, and be warm and personable so that often the bride and groom will feel as if they are having an old friend photograph the wedding. Avoid the regrets and hire a professional to have the best possible photographs of the day to treasure and preserve your memories of the wedding day.
I’m noticing lately that couples and their parents have totally different ideas and thoughts when it comes to planning a wedding and all the politics that go along with it.I know when I was planning my wedding my Mom wanted to invite the whole town!Here are a couple of tips to let your parents and/or fiancé know what you expect out of your wedding day and who you want there.
1. Communicate! Talk with your fiancé and your parents about how you want to keep it a smaller wedding and let them down gently when you say that your 3rd grade bus driver who you haven’t seen since then is not invited.
2. Explain how a wedding with too many guests, or people you barely know will totally throw off the intimate feeling you’re going for, not to mention inflate the cost!
3. Make a rule: If you haven’t seen or heard from a particular guest in years and they aren’t family don’t invite them. Chances are that they are not expecting and invitation anyway
4. Don’t feel obligated.Just because your dad’s friends sisters cousin invited you to her wedding doesn’t mean that you have to invite them.Make sure that the guests you choose to invite are there to support your marriage and not just looking for a free meal!
Looking for a wedding shower that both the groom and bride can get excited about? Look no further than the bar shower. Whether the engaged couple already has a bar in their home, plan to have one or simply enjoy entertaining guests, a bar shower is a great way to include the groom and other guys in the pre-wedding festivities.
This is a great shower for groomsmen or friends of the groom to organize. First, think about the types of gifts the shower should include. For example, is the shower being thrown to help stock the couple’s bar with barware (such as wine, beer, martini, margarita, brandy or champagne glasses), utensils and accessories (such as wine and beer bottle openers, wine racks, jiggers, martini shakers or drink recipe books) or liquor only? We recommend including all of the above.
Next, think about the invitations. Make sure to include the theme of the shower someplace on the invitation, so guests will know what kind of gifts are appropriate. If guests will be bringing liquor, you may even want to call the guests that have accepted ahead of time to let them know what type of liquor to bring. Otherwise, the couple may end up with seven bottles of scotch. While this may not be a problem for some couples, others may prefer a slightly more diversified bar. If the gifts will include other bar items, it’s helpful if the couple has already registered for some options.
What about guests? This type of shower easily lends itself to the wedding party and friends of the couple, but can also include close family members and extended relatives. This type of shower is usually held during evening hours, so refreshments can include drinks and hors d’oeuvres rather than a full meal.
The Bottom Line: What could be better than a shower that brings together friends, good liquor and plenty of bar gifts? Not only is this a great way to stock the couple’s bar, it’s also a great opportunity for some of the couple’s friends who don’t already know each other to meet in a fun, relaxed atmosphere before the wedding.
Choosing friends or family to be in your wedding party is a very important decision. Asking someone to stand next to you on your wedding day is an honor that is hard to equal. Typically, you want to make your decisions nine to 10 months before the wedding. First, you’ll want to decide with your fiancé the size of your ideal wedding party. However, as with most wedding planning decisions, it isn’t always an easy. For most men, the question often becomes "Who should I ask?"
BROTHERS Without question, if you have a brother, asking him to be a part of the wedding party is a given. It’s often expected that your brother will serve as Best Man. If you have more than one brother, it’s also very common to have two or more Best Men. YOUR FIANCE’S BROTHERS Including your fiancé’s brothers in the wedding party is also a very popular choice. It’s also widely accepted as standard practice. You’ll be joining their family on your wedding day, and asking them to be groomsmen is a great way to welcome them into yours.
FRIENDS The tough decisions start when it comes to choosing which friends to ask. It’s usually wisest to start with any life-long friends you’ve had. You can also think about close friends from high school and college. A very popular groomsman choice is the college roommate.
Remember, if you reach your maximum number of groomsmen, you can also add ushers. The number of ushers typically ranges from two to four — a ratio of one usher to every 50 guests is a good rule of thumb. But if you want to keep your wedding party small, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask your groomsmen to also usher in guests. FAMILY Cousins and nephews are also popular choices to add to your wedding party. Even if they’re young, you always the option of having a junior groomsman or usher. Other extended family members are also commonly asked to be readers, greeters or ring bearers.
The Bottom Line: Definitely include your brothers and fiancé’s brothers in the wedding party, and remember that going with a junior usher will always get rave reviews from your guests.
The people you invite to your wedding are important to you since you have asked them to come and witness your exchange of marriage vows and share in the festivities of the day.
Honoring them is a decent and respectable thing to do. They have taken time out of their own lives to share in the most memorable day of your life. Some may have traveled from distant parts of the globe to be there with you. It makes sense to honor them in a significant manner by having a photograph to remember their presence and generosity in the years to come. One solution may be to have a photo made with everyone at each table.
At first this might seem like a good approach. You could ask your photographer to follow you and your wedding partner around to every table and shoot pictures of each guest or the whole table. But consider the setting with plates half full of food and the clutter of glasses and bottles and a beautiful centerpiece blocking out faces. Consider the amount of time it will take to go around the room to each and every table and the intrusion of getting everyone to stop their meal to pose with the bride and groom. Often some of the guests are missing as they are off visiting other tables too.
From my experience, the photographs taken in such a setting do not come out looking very interesting. It is hard to arrange a group of people around a table without all the stuff on it distracting attention away from the people. Repeating this process at each and every table, to be sure everyone is photographed, results in a collection of photos displaying what everyone has also eaten and drunk or not eaten and drunk as well. If you decide this is still what you really want, then in selecting a wedding photographer, look for a traditional studio-wedding photographer who is most comfortable with the traditional poses around the table.
Wedding photojournalists are best know for capturing the real moments and emotions of the day. Documenting events naturally to tell a story as it unfolds. They therefore tend to hate making these stiff posed table shots. Making posed table photos mean that your photographer will be missing real unscripted moments of you and your guests enjoying the reception since it will take away a lot of time. There are ways to accomplish the goal of getting everyone photographed without resorting to table shots.
The solution I recommend is to consider honoring everyone at your wedding in one large group-wedding photograph. I use a large format camera to capture these large groups. I have shot wedding groups of as few as a dozen up to more than 450 people. I include a large print of this group shot with every package and everyone in the picture comes out crystal clear. It is usually the one photo from the wedding my clients get framed to hang on their wall.
Instead of the many smaller prints of each guest at their table, everyone is there in one big picture. Usually, I find the best time to do make it is right after the ceremony and just before the reception begins. Everyone is present and it is easy to arrange them all together with the bride and groom in front. It is a lot quicker making one photo than all of the individual table shots. After it is shot, you and all of your guests can go on and enjoy the reception. The rest of the photos will then be of real candid moments of everyone having a blast. That is the whole point of the reception in the first place.
Wedding Types
