By Dr. Taffy Wagner, CEPF, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Wedding Money, http://www.DebtAtTheAltar.com

That title got your attention didn’t it! Hold on to your seat because I am going to change it up for you. I am well aware that you are the shopper in the relationship and your fiancé does not know it. So NSF for you means Not So Fast. That means you do not go to the store every day or even every two or three days. But you go at least once a week and each time you go, you shop.

Lean in close – you are a SHOPPER! Even if you tried to play by the NSF rules, you are a shopper. In that regard because you like to shop even prior to marriage, you need to establish some boundaries for shopping. Sure you do because you are more than likely a shopper that will give in to peer pressure. Think about it. How many times have you been out with your girlfriends and had not planned on buying anything, but once they started buying you felt that urge to buy as well?

Or how many times have you gotten sales flyers in the mail and that led you to stop what you were doing and go to the mall or that particular store? Prior to receiving the sale flyer you did not have a reason to go to the store. I know what happened, when you opened the flyer there were several items that called out to you. You could not disappoint them and you put them out of their misery and went and purchased them.

If you are a shopper and have not shared this with your fiancé, I encourage you to have this discussion prior to walking down the aisle. Money challenges can have an ugly affect on marriage. This will make a difference in who manages the money and other financial decisions that should be made prior to marriage.

This is one of the most important items that the groom is typically at the forefront of planning. It is, for most couples, a trip of a lifetime that can be made spectacular with a little additional planning and foresight. There are some easy questions you can ask yourselves to get started:

By Mireya Navarro, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Green Wedding, Author of “Green Wedding: Planning Your Eco-friendly Celebration”, http://www.mireyanavarro.com

The invitation to my first wedding of the 2009 season arrived promptly – by email. It was in an attachment, with a beautiful peacock motif, and it did its job by telling me “when” and “where.”

The emailed invitation is fast becoming a popular green option for those couples who want to save both trees and money. And wedding websites are all the rage for all forms of other paperless wedding communication, including directions to the venue and registry information. Brides and grooms who go paperless tell me they do so because they are concerned about the natural forests that are replaced by tree farms for paper production and about the mass amounts of energy that go into turning trees into paper, among other issues.

I didn’t mind my emailed invitation at all, but some guests – and etiquette experts --  find the electronic way too impersonal. Luckily, environmentally-minded couples who prefer the traditional paper invitation will find that many stationery companies have stepped up to meet the demands of green consumers by offering recycled products at competitive prices.

When shopping around for environmentally friendly alternatives to the paper invitation, look for:

• Paper with the most recycled content, preferably 100 percent post-consumer waste (PCW) recycled paper, (which means paper that’s already gone one round with consumers, like the paper tossed in recycling bins at the office.)
• Chlorine-free paper or paper not bleached with chlorine or chlorine derivatives.
• Vegetable-based inks such as those made with soy oil.

By Barbara Waltz, an industry expert and one of the founders of a well known insurance blog.

While we are all familiar with common forms of insurance like auto or life and understand what they entail, many people are less familiar with wedding insurance. As you might expect, wedding insurance covers your wedding if something goes wrong. While that may sound a bit vague, it is somewhat intended to be that way. Wedding insurance is somewhat unique in the sense that you can adjust what is covered and to what amount of money. If you were looking to have the rings covered or the rental tuxedos that is entirely possible. It is also possible to cover the entire wedding being canceled due to natural disasters or a death/illness in the family. 

The question many people have is “how much does this cost and what will it pay out?” , well again that is based on the level of coverage that you choose to take on.  It is possible to get a policy that costs around $100 or it could run up to $500 and the payout would vary somewhere between $5,000 and $50,000 (which of course scales based on how much is paid).   Most couples choose to only insure a few choice things but others may want to cover the whole ceremony and reception. 

One thing that should be noted when dealing with wedding insurance is to make sure that you fully understand what you are signing off on.  While many people assume it works the same way as other insurances, it does have some areas that are pretty specific and if you attempt to make a claim it may be turned down.  For example, if it is windy with a slight drizzle and you had planned to have an outdoor reception or ceremony it would not be covered, but if there was a hurricane and people were forced to evacuate you would be.

Whether or not wedding insurance is for you is entirely up to you. While it is not uncommon to get it, it is not done by every couple and depends entirely on your personal situation.

By Dr. Taffy Wagner, CEPF, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Wedding Money,

http://www.DebtAtTheAltar.com

Have you ever thought love and money go together? It is true money and marriage goes hand-in-hand. For example, as you are planning your wedding, you talk about the cost of florists, caterers, wedding dress, tuxedos and more. That is one aspect of money. A second aspect of money that you could look at is venue, size of the party and honeymoon. While addressing the first two areas there is yet a third area that needs to be looked at which can literally clinch the talk of money and marriage go hand-in-hand. I am talking about the "DAY AFTER" the wedding and the beginning of your marriage.

What happens after the honeymoon - you return to your new home with your spouse and you have bills. What does it take to pay the bills? MONEY! Have you discussed what each of your individual finances are that you are bringing into the marriage? I know money is that "taboo" subject. Do not let it stay a taboo subject because, in my opinion, there is nothing like financial secrets to tear a marriage down.

You don’t have to take my word. You can literally type in the search engines "engaged couples" and "money" or either "marriage" and "money". You will see story after story and article after article where couples are arguing about money, finances are impacting marriages and more. Or let’s make it even a little closer to home. How many couples do you know personally that are having some heated discussions because of finances? What does that tell you? First and foremost that money was not discussed nearly enough in marriage and now it is being discussed out of panic. Second, it is your responsibility and no one else’s to make sure you know the facts prior to walking down the aisle. Only you and your future spouse will truly know what is happening with your finances. Do not doubt for a second that money in marriage go hand-in-hand. When you and your spouse can openly discuss finances, the financial stress disappears. Don’t deny your marriage the opportunity to have financial happiness over financial stress.

By Daniel Sheehan (WedNet Specialist Blogger for Photography): A Beautiful Day Photography, http://www.abeautifuldayphotography.com

Gathering together some vital information beforehand is the most important thing to do before you consider hiring a wedding photographer. A major concern expressed by many of the brides I have been hearing from this past year is keeping within a strict budget. If you are a bride attempting to keep the photography budget down, you need gather some background facts on which to base your decision.

After studying wedding websites and magazines to get as much information as they can before approaching a photographer, many brides put together a long list of questions thought to be helpful. Most photographers will be able to answer all of them making it not so easy to pick the right one.

When you contact a wedding photographer the first thing to remember to do is to ask about their style of photography. “What is the style of your wedding photography?” Talk a little with them about the images they have made and are showing on their website before you get around to asking about the price. I really hate it when the first question I get from a prospective client is “How much do you charge?” It is upsetting to have my photographic vision and creativity treated as if it were a commodity like a gallon of milk. The last thing you should do is begin a conversation with a photographer by asking “How much?” You will make him more interested in making a deal with you if they think that you are familiar with their work and are really interested in it. If they are very good and their fee is high, when you ask them to negotiate their fee downwards because of the tight economy, they might be more flexible in coming down to meet your budget.

I do not want you to get the impression that every cheap photographer is bad. Just be aware that if you are a on a tight budget, as so many brides are this year, finding a really good wedding photographer who will give you what you want for less than $2,000, it is mandatory that you really do your homework beforehand, be prepared to compromise on any of the extras you might be thinking about, and have a great deal of luck.

Lets say you want to get at a minimum, a photographer who will give you at least six hours of coverage, a proof web gallery or proof magazine, web based slideshow and all of the images on a disc with a release of copyright so you can go and get your own prints made yourself at a cheap lab. This is will be a quest but doable if you keep a sharp eye out.

The second question to ask when you meet with a prospective photographer who is offering to work in that affordable price range is: “How long have you been shooting weddings?”. If they have a website or show you a portfolio consisting of at best average photos and claim to have shot more than 100 weddings over the past five years an alarm bell should be going off in you head.

The third question is: “Please can you show me a web gallery or proof book of all the photos from just one wedding?” If they refuse or are reluctant to produce one, then you have a good reason to move on to the next photographer on your list.  Any photographer with that much experience should be confident enough to show you all of the photos from a recent wedding if you ask, not just a few select shots from a number of different weddings. See what they say when you ask to see a proof book or disc of a whole wedding. If they produce one for you and it is full of great images then you can get around to asking the budget sensitive question.  “How much do you charge for your basic package?”

If they fit your budget then you have just found the right photographer. If they are much higher than your budget, then ask them if they would be willing to work with you to get the price down and tell them exactly how much you have budgeted for photography. Maybe by cutting back a little on the amount of time of coverage or just getting the photos on a disc instead of a whole bunch of prints or album, they would be willing to go ahead and work with you.

If the photos are not that great, just kind of average looking, you might still want to book with them. If they are young, they may just be starting out, are getting better with every wedding and are charging a budget price to get more experience. Maybe they are doing it part time or are still attending school and are learning photography. This is probably the best-case scenario for a budget photographer. Perhaps they have assisted someone a number of times and now feel confident to go out on their own. They just might be able to give you what you are looking for at a low price.

The ones to avoid in this price range are the photographers who will show you lots of albums and proof books and have been working professionally for quite a long time, and all of their work looks average to poor quality. They will surely produce the same quality of images for you if you hire them. And you will deserve what you get if you do hire someone just on price. There is an old quote by John Ruskin, a British art critic author, poet and artist that I am reminded of;  “I have no quarrel with the man whose prices are lower, for he knows better than anyone else in the world what his product is worth.”

By Dr. Taffy Wagner, CEPF, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Wedding Money, http://www.DebtAtTheAltar.com

You’re shopping with your friends and continuing to spend beyond your wedding day expenses. You are having the time of your life hanging out with your best friends without a care in the world. Later on that evening after you have parted ways, you conscious begins talking to you. Conscious says, “You should not have spent money on those items today.” Of course the shopper in you says, “Oh, everything will be fine, he will never know.” Sure it may seem like that right now because he is not there.

You take a deep breath of relief knowing that once again you have shopped and overspent. As far as you are concerned, there is a “Silent Golden rule that allows you to be dishonest about your finances.” Dishonest in the fact that you are choosing not to tell him and this very act right now can carry over into your marriage. If you shop now, overspend and do not divulge that you have been shopping, what is going to happen once you are married? Will this overspending affect the household finances? What happens if the groom is doing the same thing? OOOH – imagine both of you coming to the table one night to discuss the other’s finances only to discover that each of you have been doing the same thing. So much for a golden rule --.that rule actually works against the marriage and not for the marriage. Lay your cards on the table openly knowing that you are thinking beyond the wedding day.

By Jimmy Horner, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Groom Issues, The Man Registry, http://www.themanregistry.com

Here’s the situation - your wedding day is coming up and its up to you to figure out how you are going to leave your old world (late nights with the guys and waking up checking your outgoing texts) and enter your new world (watching The Tonight Show is a late night treat).  This may sound a little strong, but give it a year and you will see.  The good news is you get the responsibility of figuring out how to make that leap the most memorable.  That’s right; I am talking about wedding day transportation, here is my story. 

I knew this was my one opportunity to put a spin on the day, and I wanted to make it fun, but keep it classy.  The Budweiser Clydesdale’s weren’t available, so I picked the next best thing.  A vintage 1973 Corvette.  This car has been in our family for over 30 years and is in perfect condition.  In addition to that, it’s a great pearl orange, a rare color for today’s cars, but one that makes a statement.  I had it all planned out. After we walked out of the church everyone gathered in the front along a major street.  We went around the corner where our chariot was waiting.  The trickiest part of this was getting my brides dress in the car. Once that catastrophe was diverted it was time for my favorite part.  I turned the key and this beast came to life.  This car has some aftermarket exhaust that sounds like a million bucks.  We started to pull out onto the street and I felt like this marriage thing wasn’t going to be so bad.  I may actually get my way from time to time.  The big question was, “Am I going to do a nice little burnout that this car is begging me for?”  As we approached the crowd of people and everyone started clapping, I felt the adrenaline really start to rush, hundreds of horsepower at my beckon call.  I looked at my new bride with speed in my eyes, as she looked back I slowly pulled my foot away from the gas pedal and we drove by.  I had just realized my first lesson in marriage, it’s not just about you anymore, but compromise isn’t always a bad thing. 

The Bottom Line: One of the most important parts of marriage is the ability for both the Bride and Groom to compromise.  The more each party gives, the more they will receive.   

By Kristal Joiner (WedNet Specialist Blogger for Wedding Planning): Weddings By Kristal

In order to have flawless makeup you need to start with flawless skin, or at least as close to flawless as you can get.  Here are a few tips to keep your skin looking its best:

Wash your face everyday: Morning & night use a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer (oil free).  Only moisturize where it feels like you need moisture.  3 days a week use an exfoliating facial scrub to sluff away dead skin and bacteria.  When washing make sure to go all the way down your neck and upper chest (the parts that will show the most in your gown), and, like my mother always says, “Always wear sunscreen!”

Resurface your skin once a week: About every 30 days your skin renews itself, but often times it is uneven due to dead skin build up, bacteria, and oils on the surface. This causes the skin to become uneven looking, and often causes blemishes.  Try an at-home microdermabrasion treatment once a week to keep your skin fresh and clear, and be sure to finish it off with a cell block serum with at least spf 30.

Get lots of sleep: When you hear “I need my beauty sleep”, it’s absolutely true!  Sleep is the most important and most overlooked part of your beauty regimen.  If you’re having trouble sleeping try taking an aromatherapy bath, reading a boring book, drink a glass of warm milk or chamomile tea.  Also, try to avoid television or any wedding planning one hour prior to going to sleep.

These are just a few simple tips that will go a long way to making you look and feel your best on the big day!  Happy Planning!

By Dr. Taffy Wagner, CEPF, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Wedding Money, http://www.DebtAtTheAltar.com

You sitting there, bride-to-be, yes you. Come close to the screen. I know you have some financial questions that you want to ask yet you do not know who or where to turn. Congratulations, I am here for you. The voice of money and marriage for Wednet to provide you with tips, answer your questions and encourage you to not operate in fear. Let me share, one of the things about fear, especially when it comes to finances is it keeps you from taking action. Why? You are afraid of impending response or reaction. So we are not going to operate in fear but operate with the idea of succeeding, living, laughing and loving all the way down the aisle as we talk about money.

Are you ready? I sure am. I can imagine some of the questions you have are how do I manage to accomplish the wedding planning when our budget just got sliced in half or do we postpone our wedding until it is more affordable? Let me ask you, if you did not have any money, would you marry your groom? If the answer to this question is yes, then you have already answered that second question. There is no need to postpone the wedding. The wedding is a way of expressing your love and commitment outwardly for those family members, friends and colleagues. Didn’t you just say if you did not have any money you would marry the groom? There you have it. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on the wedding.

Caution – you are not planning your wedding with monopoly money. Honey, the money you are using is real and someone whether it is you or your family is paying for the wedding. Start talking now with your fiancé about money and what is important to each of you for the wedding day. You can begin the art of compromise now which can be beneficial to you throughout the marriage. The marriage is not all about the wife or the husband individually. The marriage is about the unit.

By Mireya Navarro, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Green Wedding, Author of “Green Wedding: Planning Your Eco-friendly Celebration”, http://www.mireyanavarro.com

On a recent panel about green weddings, a fellow panelist, a bride, made an interesting point: when asked whether a green wedding was harder to plan than a traditional celebration, she said it was actually easier because there are not as many vendors to choose from.

This is true, but the green market is rapidly expanding and it has become a challenge to tell who’s a true green vendor and who is a green washer, a business that makes false claims just to get on the green bandwagon. Here are a few guidelines to make sure you pay for truly environmentally-sound products and services:

* Look for trustworthy labels, such as USDA Organic for food or LEED for venues that market themselves as green buildings. The labels mean the product is certified by outside parties that vouch for its green
credentials.

* Most products and services are not certified, unfortunately, but you can do some research when there’s no seal of approval. Go to the vendor’s website to look at its environmental policy. The transparent ones vouch for their commitment to sustainable practices in detail. Ask questions, like "Where does this product come from?" "How far was it shipped?" "Do you recycle?" A long pause on the other end of the telephone may be all you need to tell who’s who.

* Check with watchdog websites, such as www.GreenerChoices.org by Consumer’s Union.

By Jimmy Horner, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Groom Issues, The Man Registry, http://www.themanregistry.com

The bachelor party will likely be one of the best parties of your life — especially because the groom is the guest of honor! There are a couple easy things you should think about during the planning process so you don’t forget something important.

First, think about what you want to do for the party. Should it be an all-day affair spent with your best buds playing golf or paintball or perhaps watching a movie marathon, and then moving on to dinner and drinks? Or maybe a full weekend celebration is in order — such as going to Vegas or arranging a float trip, hunting or fishing trip or anything else you enjoy? Let your best man and groomsmen know your thoughts asap so they can have time to plan.

Once you’ve figured out the plans for the day, you should think about guests to invite. This is probably one of the most important, but sometimes overlooked areas. Some guests to consider including are the fathers — both yours and your future father-in-law. They’ll definitely appreciate the invite. Just make it clear if they’re being invited only to dinner or to dinner and a couple drinks, etc. You may or may not want them around later in the night, depending on plans and if any bachelor party games are going to be played.

If you’re planning on a small wedding or a destination wedding and the bachelor party will be in your hometown, you should feel free to also invite guests that may not be invited to the wedding. Remember, the bachelor party is your chance to celebrate your life leading up to marriage, so you don’t necessarily have to only include only those who are invited to the actual wedding.

The last thing to think about is friends from different groups that may not be friends with each other, such as your fiancées brother and your frat brother, for example. You may want to think about talking to one or both of them as to what would be considered acceptable conduct and discussion during the party. Do yourself a favor and consider possible problems ahead of time and either warn people or tell them to keep things mellow to avoid offending anyone — especially your future relatives.

The Bottom Line: The bachelor party should be a party to celebrate you. If you’re not sure if you want to invite a particular person, it probably wouldn’t hurt to go ahead and invite them. Even if someone isn’t going to the wedding, they may be part of some of your favorite memories growing up and would make a great addition to your bachelor party. Put some time into making your guest list, so you don’t have any regrets later on. Planning ahead will make this party one to remember. Cheers!

By Mireya Navarro, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Green Wedding, Author of “Green Wedding: Planning Your Eco-friendly Celebration”, http://www.mireyanavarro.com

I loved the March 15 Sunday Styles article in the New York Times about wedding gifts. As the economy gets worse, guests are re-thinking the wedding present. Is it necessary at all? The Times article presents a variety of opinions on the subject – “The only event for which a present is absolutely required is the bridal shower”…”Go to a small, unknown antiques shop and buy something very inexpensive,” then write a note saying it’s 100 years old and it came from Vienna!

Green weddings present two alternatives that may suit your guests’ taste much better than lying or forgoing the present: the practical registry and the philanthropic registry.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that brides and grooms committed to rooting out waste in their lifestyles have extended their distaste for excess to their wedding presents. Why suggest luxuries like a porcelain gravy boat from Tiffany if what you really need is help renovating your new home?

Why not turn over the gift-fest to a charity or environmental organization?

For eco-friendly registry options try:

• A subscription for a regular fresh-produce basket from a community-supported farm
• A subscription to a green living magazine 
• Do you want to help rehabilitate prisoners, support literacy programs or stop global warming?

Send your guests to the websites of your favorite organizations or to portals for charitable giving like JustGive.org.

By Daniel Sheehan (WedNet Specialist Blogger for Photography): A Beautiful Day Photography, http://www.abeautifuldayphotography.com

Weddings can be very stressful for the bride and groom. It is hard to make a great photograph of a relaxed wedding couple if they are stressed out over too many details of their wedding day. One proven way to reduce the stress level during their wedding is to get help from a wedding-day coordinator. This can be someone hired for the task or it can be someone recruited from the ranks of friends or family.

While the bride and groom may prefer to plan out all the events of the day, the coordinator is given the responsibility of all of the little details that can cause the bride and groom to get stressed out and prevent them from relaxing and enjoying their wedding day. Then they can be photographed looking their best, relaxed and not preoccupied with the goings on around them. The will smile more easily with the anxiety missing and in general the wedding photographs will be better for it.

The one detail that I have found to reliably improve the process of making the posed formal portraits of the wedding party and family members is to insist that the bride and groom prepare a shot list at least a week or two before the wedding. This is simply a detailed list of everyone they want to include in the making of formal portraits. Listing the actual names of everyone makes it easier to work with. It should look something like this:

1. Bride and groom with John and Mike and Sally.
2. Bride and groom with Bride’s parents - Jack and Kate
3. Bride and groom with groom’s parents – Kit and Kim
4. Bride with Bridesmaids _ Cat, Rita, Bea and Blanch
5. Bride with Roger, Frank Peter and George
6. The entire wedding party
7. Etc…. but try to keep it from going much past #12.

The shot list goes to either the wedding day coordinator or a good friend or relative who already knows the majority of these folks. (It helps if they have a drill sergeant attitude. It’s funny, but in my experience it seems everyone knows just the perfect person to give it to). It functions like this. When the photographer is making the first photo on the shot list, they are rounding up the people in shot 2. and holding them in the on deck circle. Then when the first shot is done, he says next and they proceed to the location to be photographed in their turn. Then the folks in shot #3 are gathered up to stand by. This continues until the end of the list.

This allows the bride and groom to not have to make any stressful decisions on the day of the wedding. It also helps them to know exactly who to tell to come early if the photos will be taken before the ceremony. That is also a stress reducing factor in itself. Take the portraits before the wedding for for a more relaxed wedding day for sure.

By Jimmy Horner, WedNet Specialist Blogger on Groom Issues, The Man Registry, http://www.themanregistry.com

Everyone knows that a diamond is a girl’s best friend. Your bride will treasure her engagement ring and wedding band for the rest of her life. That’s why it’s so important to buy her a fake diamond ring right before the honeymoon. Sound absurd? Trust me — I’m trying to help you out.

Chances are that you’ve heard horror stories of people being robbed while on vacation outside of the country. Americans are easy targets outside of our borders because criminals assume we have money and valuables. Whether it’s a face-to-face robbery or a staff member at your resort stealing from your room, it happens. I can’t think of a worse time than the honeymoon for such an incident to take place.

A great way to combat the risk is to buy a fake diamond ring to be worn on the trip. Cubic zirconium, moissanite, and white sapphire are great substitutes for diamonds and can be purchased inexpensively. To the naked eye, it’s hard to tell the difference between these substitutes and a real diamond. Some jewelry stores even offer replicas of the exact ring you buy. If you and your wife will be traveling outside the United States frequently, this may be something to seriously consider. As always, I recommend having your ring insured. However, if you don’t, this precaution takes on added importance.

The Bottom Line: Pay the small amount and pick up a fake rock. You can’t put a price on peace of mind. At the very least, make sure you have ring insurance before you leave.